tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38832407358282248662011-04-21T17:47:19.232-07:00i just want my ball back manbushleaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14063274117849743744noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3883240735828224866.post-10378992252852932262007-06-04T19:17:00.000-07:002007-06-05T06:44:36.604-07:00so last week i joined a kickball league.<br />i convinced my buddy to let me join his team at the last minute by saying i had "mad kickball skillz"<br />this may have been a slight exaggeration, being as i hadnt kicked any balls since grade school.<br />but i am quite mad, and i do have some experience kicking things,<br />namely: tires, hippies, rogue coffee tables, and "kickin it" in general.<br /><br />anyway our first game was scheduled for tonight,<br />and i didnt want to make a complete ass of myself,<br />so i thought i might as well purchase a kickball and get some practice in over the weekend.<br /><br />i went to three target superstores before i found a regulation kickball.<br />i promptly took it home, painted it black, and stenciled some skulls on it.<br />after all, i didnt spend the equivalent of about 160 mexican pesos,<br />so some toolbag could walk away with it.<br /><br />well that didnt stop Conor Oberst, lead singer of the band Bright Eyes.<br /><br />me and my ball went down to the Hollywood YMCA to get some practice in.<br />i found an empty soccer field and decided kicking into the goal would be my best bet,<br />in order to minimize ball chasing and maximize calibration of my kicking leg.<br /><br />i set the ball down about 20ft away from the goal and took aim.<br />i took three steps, and let 'er rip.<br />much to my chagrin the ball missed the goal totally and sailed over some a small hedge,<br />and into the picnic area.<br />all i heard was the distinct sound of ball against face.<br />its a long time since i've heard that sound, but i wont soon forget it.<br /><br />i rush over to the scene and find a very angry, red-faced Conor Oberst,<br />some spilled kool-aid and my black kick ball.<br /><br />i apologized profusely,<br />and even offered to reimburse him for the kool-aid.<br />but there was no consoling mr. oberst.<br /><br />the only thing left to do,<br />the only thing socially acceptable in such a situation,<br />was to dance fight.<br /><br />the dance off lasted about 45 minutes,<br />until i could see Conors energy was waining.<br />thats when i suckered him in with my bset pop and lock,<br />then broke into an amazing 30 second one-handed handstand freeze.<br />Conor Oberst Got Served.<br /><br />naturally he wasnt happy about this defeat,<br />but he had to accept it, and turned to leave.<br />i thought that was the end of it,<br />and went to the water fountain to rehydrate.<br /><br />when i returned my practically brand new kickball (only one kick, one face) was gone.<br /><br />i know Conor took it, because i asked the grounds keeper who was trimming the hedges, and saw the whole thing.<br />he specifically said that he saw Conor Oberst, of the band Bright Eyes,<br />hurriedly walking away with a black ball.<br /><br />so in response, i created this blog,<br />because i dont know any other way to reach Conor.<br />i'm willing to chock it all up to post-break-dance-defeat hysteria,<br />and let bygones be bygones.<br />i just want my ball back man.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3883240735828224866-1037899225285293226?l=brighteyesstolemykickball.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>bushleaguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14063274117849743744noreply@blogger.com2